I have to say that some days I get really irritated when I see cases in which professionals say things that are, to be blunt, stupid.
In a recent case this is what one defense attorney stated:
“Had I been one of those guys, it would never have gone this far, because I would have kept my mouth shut and said ‘Wow’ to my buddies,” Thomassey told the judge. “There’s a big difference between boys and girls. To boys, what happened is a rite of passage. It doesn’t have the effect on young men as it has on young women. Guys deal with stuff.”
There is just so much wrong with that statement. What irks me the most is that it would take all of about 10 minutes to research and find out that it is not different for boys and girls.
I am happy that the D.A. at least got it right and stated:
“I’m always taken by the fact when it’s a woman offender on a boy, it’s an ‘Atta boy,’ but when it’s a man offender on a girl, it’s the horror of horrors. I don’t see a difference.”
I have talked about this very issue on here quite a bit so I am not going to make this a long post. I would like to point out how this kind of action can cause harm to victims. One post I wrote about this involved another case and you can read it here.
I want to post a few pieces from this study:
Denov, M. S. (2004). The Long-Term Effects of Child Sexual Abuse by Female Perpetrators: A Qualitative Study of Male and Female Victims. Journal of Interpersonal Violence, 19(10), 1137-1156.
Denov’s (2001) research explored psychiatrists’ and police perspectives on female sex offending. The study found that both professional groups viewed sexual abuse by women as less harmful than sexual abuse by men. Moreover, efforts were made by psychiatrists and police officers, either consciously or unconsciously, to transform the female sex offender and her offense, realigning them with more culturally acceptable notions of female behavior. This ultimately led to a denial of the problem.
The professional assumption that sexual abuse by women is less harmful than similar abuse by men has potentially dangerous implications for victims of sexual abuse by women and their offenders. If professionals fail to recognize sexual abuse by women as potentially serious and harmful, child protection plans will not be made. Consequently, children in the care of or in contact with a female sex offender may be at risk and remain outside of the realm of professional attention and statutory intervention. In addition, such professional belief systems may work to diminish the level of harm inflicted on the victim. As a result, the experiences of victims who come forward to disclose sexual abuse by women may be trivialized, leading to delayed referral to social services, or failing to provide victims with the care and the necessary support services that they require (Hunter, 1990; Denov, 2004). Moreover, professional minimization or disbelief of victims’ allegations of female perpetrated sexual abuse may actually exacerbate the negative effects of the sexual abuse, ultimately inciting secondary victimization(Denov, 2003b). In a similar vein, female sex offenders who are perceived by professionals as largely innocuous will not be held accountable for their actions and may be allowed to drop out of the child welfare and/or criminal justice system without warrant. In such circumstances, female abusers will not gain insight into their behavior and may continue to pose a risk to children.
Those two sections alone do a very good job at explaining why the attorney was wrong and the possible harm caused by these beliefs.
The website Male Survivor has this posted on their Myths page:
In reality, premature or coerced sex, whether by a mother, aunt, older sister, baby-sitter or other female in a position of power over a boy, causes confusion at best, and rage, depression or other problems in more negative circumstances. To be used as a sexual object by a more powerful person, male or female, is always abusive and often damaging.
Believing these myths is dangerous and damaging.
- So long as society believes these myths, and teaches them to children from their earliest years, sexually abused males will be unlikely to get the recognition and help they need.
- So long as society believes these myths, sexually abused males will be more likely join the minority of survivors who perpetuate this suffering by abusing others.
- So long as boys or men who have been sexually abused believe these myths, they will feel ashamed and angry.
- And so long as sexually abused males believe these myths they reinforce the power of another devastating myth that all abused children struggle with: that it was their fault. It is never the fault of the child in a sexual situation – though perpetrators can be quite skilled at getting their victims to believe these myths and take on responsibility that is always and only their own.
If you look at the Bibliography page you will see that this is not new information. Research has been done and it has been known for many years now. But how much information about female perpetrated sexual abuse do people get exposed to? Not much. Zero of the “trainings” I have been to over the years have discussed anything other than males in regards to sexual violence unless the training was specifically about female sex offenders. Even the “rape crisis” sites often offer little information other than to acknowledge that both genders may be offenders and both may be victims. Maybe it is about time for this to change.
I will say that maybe there is hope that this may start to change. For example in Ohio the Ohio Alliance to End Sexual Violence interim director CeCe Norwood has this in a paper from her website:
Women commit approximately 20% of sex offenses against children.
Hopefully this means that they will make it a point to actually offer services that objectively look at this issue.
An extract from a online news article in the UK, entitled, “I was abused by a woman and it haunts me every day” to accompany this important blog entry on the ‘Rite of Passage’ myth:-
Historically, of course, it has been hard for society to accept that women abuse children at all. This is something which, according to Bill Jenkins, makes it even harder for boys to come forward and speak about what happened to them.
‘What chap, regardless of age, wants to admit his abuser is a woman?’ he says. ‘It’s not something that men will readily admit to. It implies you are a wimp.’
This emotional conflict is echoed by the voices of more recent victims, desperate boys and young teenagers who turn to ChildLine for help. Many of them fear being seen as unmasculine and worry that what is happening to them will be dismissed as a teenage rite of passage.
‘I’ve been having sex with my aunt – she’s 28,’ says one 15-year-old caller, in a harrowing transcript of his call. ‘I want it to stop ‘cos I know it’s wrong and my mother would go crazy if she knew but we keep doing it.’
And another 15-year-old: ‘Sometimes when Mum is very drunk she touches me and tries to get me to touch her. It makes me feel really weird. It’s not right.’
Experts have known for years that women are just as able to abuse children as men are. Detective Chief Inspector Graham Hill, of the Child Exploitation And Online Protection Centre in London (CEOP), has interviewed several female sex abusers.
‘There’s this cultural perception of women as the home-makers, and that men are the sexually aggressive ones,’ he explains.
“Society as a whole has bought into that and the law has been shaped around that. The reality is very different. But those attitudes are ingrained. ”
‘When you start to talk about this subject, people tend to not want to know. They shut off because it’s a subject they don’t think is very common. They don’t think it’s something that warrants serious debate. As such, women tend to fly under the law enforcement radar.’
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-1228366/I-abused-woman-haunts-day.html
Detective Chief Inspector Graham Hill, of the Child Exploitation And Online Protection (CEOP) Centre in London (UK) talks about the social stigma faced by boys who are sexually abused by women
http://www.twitvid.com/56361
Thank you for writing this. The sad truth is that sex offenders hurt children, no matter the gender of the offender. It is hard for people to believe that women rape children too, but they unfortunately do.
– Butterfly
Here is an extract from a press report about a recent case in the UK of a 32-year-old woman convicted of having an unlawful sexual relationship with a 12-year-old boy. Note the the male judge’s summing up of her sexual behaviour/offending during sentencing in the extract below:-
Primary school dinner lady jailed for six years after having sex with boy, 12
4th March 2011
Judge Anthony Bate locked Pullar up for six years and banned her from ever working with children after ruling she poses a ‘high risk of serious harm to boys.’
He said: ‘You flattered him as to how good looking he was and encouraged him to bunk off school for trysts in your house, caravan and nearby woods.
‘There is no basis for thinking that the underlying detrimental effects on a boy is any different from that which would be suffered by a girl.
‘His mother has been very distressed and made ill by the discovery that a friend has abused both her son and her trust.
‘I consider an extension period of four years is necessary to protect under-age boys from serious harm cause by you committing further sexual offences against them.
‘You presently pose a high risk of serious harm to boys unless and until you gain some insight into the gravity of your offending.’
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1363070/Primary-school-dinner-lady-jailed-years-having-sex-boy-12.htm
Corrected link – http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1363070/Primary-school-dinner-lady-jailed-years-having-sex-boy-12.html
Anger as UK female teacher who had sex with underage schoolboy is spared jail
March 11, 2011
Two children’s charities have criticised a judge’s decision not to send a teaching assistant to jail for having sex with an under-age schoolboy.
Leah Davies, 30, was spared prison because she did not ‘seduce or corrupt’ the teenager during a sexual encounter.
Judge Martin Rudland described Davies as a ‘decent and hard-working woman’ and said her decision to have sex with a child was a ‘tragic and foolish mistake’ that did not deserve a prison term.
The mother-of-one was instead sentenced to 12 months’ imprisonment suspended for two years after being convicted of four counts of sexual activity with a child.
But the child protection charity Lucy Faithfull Foundation warned the sentence could reinforce a culture where sex crimes committed by women were ‘overlooked’.
Davies, of Morley Avenue, Fallowfield, was working at Claremont Primary School, in Moss Side, at the time of her arrest but the charges do not relate to any of her pupils.
Sentencing at Manchester Crown Court, Judge Rudland said: “It was a comparatively short-lived encounter that required no coercion.
“I’m convinced he was not seduced or corrupted by the experience.”
A spokesman for the Lucy Faithfull Foundation said: “We often see relationships between older women and teenage boys being viewed as less damaging than those between older men and teenage girls and we live in a culture in which abuse of children by women is minimised, distorted and overlooked.
“There is a danger that sentences like that given to Leah Davies can reinforce this culture.”
The charity Kidscape said: “The adult in this situation must take full responsibility for the unlawful sexual encounters.
“We have to ask whether the sentence imposed sends out the right message to adults who may be tempted to form inappropriate relationships with children.”
Davies has been barred from teaching and is now working as a cleaner to support her child.
Her crime only come to light when the boy confided what had happened to a family member.
http://menmedia.co.uk/manchestereveningnews/news/s/1410618_anger_as_teacher_who_had_sex_with_underage_schoolboy_is_spared_jail